As my Beautiful Bella transitions into whatever is next for her... I'm spending as much time as I can with her on my lap, her purr vibrating my heart as it has for more than twelve years. It gives me time to reflect on how this wild, indelible soul has enriched my own with her unique brand of love, humor and energy. Bella and Raina have helped me through some major life changes in those twelve years , and I have so many wonderful memories.
She had just turned two years old, when I brought her and Raina from the Bengal cattery to my home. The breeder had told me she was sweet and playful, but "wasn't much to look at". Which is why she'd been spayed and was looking for her forever home. When I walked into that house, Bella reached out to me from the back of the couch and I swear I thought she was the most beautiful cat I'd ever seen... and I still feel that way.
She's also one of the smartest cats I've ever known. She tries so hard to communicate with me, using different vocalizations in different situations - it's my own failing as a human when I don't understand. She can open doors with handles, and is maddeningly easy to train. I will miss her burrowing under the covers at night, resting her head on my arm and looking into my eyes as she purrs herself to sleep. I will miss the way, only until the past month, she'd have "crazy time" every night... running around the house, tearing up and down the stairs, yowling and pouncing on her prey (her toys and my stuffed animals...). She'd start play fights with Raina... who always finished them. She'd meet me, and anyone else, at the door - and it didn't matter if she knew you or not... if you gave her a treat you were her friend. I love how much she talks... she's a very chatty kitty... only wish I could turn the volume down sometimes!
Those of us who love cats understand that you have to be invited into a cats heart... they don't take to just anyone. And when you find yourself in that very special, very privileged place it's particularly difficult to let go of the small, soft, elegant being that is her physical home. But my Bella and I share a unique connection - and her spirit will be with me always - and knowing this will be my last day, and last night with her - I'm trying to hold on to that thought. As C.S. Lewis said... "You don't HAVE a soul. You ARE a soul, you have a body". I'll no longer feel the warmth of her sweet feline form, but will always have her spirit with me.
So long Itty Bitty Bella Kitty. Frank, Raina and I will miss you terribly. XOX
I don't know how I'll feel in the coming days or how quickly I'll recover... my apologies if I seem to disappear for a bit...
|camera||Canon PowerShot G9|
|exposure mode||shutter priority|